Monday, November 21, 2011

Raccoon

Friends - It was just a short time ago that I wrote Pain.  Well, time has passed and the Dr. gave me another shot of cortisone so I feel better.  I'm not in severe pain, just regular pain but I can live with that (temporarily).  I see knee replacement in the near future for me.  Anyway this is what happened last week. 
Raccoon
Just when I decided that I’m a helpless old lady something comes along to prove that there is spirit in the old girl yet. Last night at about 3AM when it was very dark, I found myself out on my back deck swinging a broom at an intruder. Let’s see, you need a little background on this.
For the past three nights my dog Rusty, who is my pet, protector and constant companion, has awakened me 3 to 4 times a night with furious excited barking. I slowly climb out of bed – I do everything slowly these days and go to the study. There he is standing by the sliding glass doors poised to shoot through them like a bullet the minute I open the door.
I’m also slow deliberately because I really want whatever is out there to get away before Rusty gets there. I don’t want a fight, hurt animals, blood and such. So far we’ve been successful. I knew our visitors were raccoons because the first night they got into the bird seed that I keep on the deck in a sealed container – one I thought was secure. I bought bungee cords, fastened it again to make it double safe. Didn’t work, they chewed through the cord or just pulled it aside and opened the container. Next step – I now bring the container inside every night. Problem solved – oh no. Now the garbage looks and smells interesting. I had anticipated this and had put a heavy crock pot on top of the garbage can to make sure it was safe. Ha, they said as they knocked it off and broke it to smeetherines. That was one I really liked too. Of course they scattered the garbage all over. I’m using bingee cords again and making sure I don’t put any food in the garbage. The food goes to the compost pile.
They seem to have just found me and just keep coming back. Each time I solve a problem and think that I am brilliant with my new and better solution, they out do me. They just find another interest. Last night it was the hanging bird feeders. I also am naïve enough to think that once they have had a narrow escape from Rusty, they will stay away. Not so, they keep coming back.
I think raccoons are cute and pretty. But, I tell you – their charm has worn off. Right now I’m just annoyed.
So for the third time last night I let Rusty out. He’s off like a bullet, barking like crazy (wonder what the neighbors think). This time he doesn’t just check out the deck and yard and come back inside wanting praise from me because he is such a wonderful dog. He just keeps barking. I go to the door to try to determine what’s the problem now. I notice that he’s barking over by a lamp post that has a bird feeder hanging from it. I look carefully and there sitting atop the post is a big fat happy raccoon. My timing was off when I let Rusty out – the raccoon didn’t make a get away. So now what? The raccoon can’t get down because Rusty is there and Rusty is not going anywhere while that raccoon is in sight and on his property.
It seems to me I’m going to have to do something. I manage to get Rusty off the deck and into the dog pen below. Now the raccoon can come down on the deck and get away. But the stupid, dumb, aggravating raccoon just sits there and looks at me. Doesn’t he know that I just threw him a lifeline? Evidently not!
Ok, a next step has to be taken. I know, I’ll get a broom and knock him off his perch. I’ll have to be careful, I don’t want to knock him into me and I make sure I have a straight and clear path to the sliding glass door. Alright, it seems safe enough until I visualize this sight and have an attack of the giggles.
Here it is at 3 AM or thereabouts, and this old lady is out on the dark deck in her nightgown swinging a broom at a raccoon. Why it’s enough to make you laugh. I guess there’s some spirit left in me yet!
I push him off his perch, he begrudgingly comes down and ambles off. Rusty has now figured out that he was tricked and is fiercely barking to get up on the deck and at this monster. I let him up, the raccoon makes his getaway and Rusty and I go back inside and to bed.
Tonight is going to be more of the same thing. I’ve got to come up with a plan. These visits are just too much excitement.

5 comments:

marciamayo said...

Mary, I laughed so hard when I read this. You are right; there is some life left in the old girl.

MaryB said...

Anonymous - I'd like to get in touch with you but can't find a way. Perhaps you could send me your e-mail?

MaryB said...

Marcia Laughter is good medicine isn't it? Glad the story brought you laughter.

MaryB said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MaryB said...

Anonymous - I've discovered that all your comments were going into spam and the one I received several days ago was a no-reply message. I've since fixed the problem (I think). Therefore we can communicate and you can remain anonymous or not as you please.